Anyone else hear Eddie Money singing? No? Just me?
I feel like every time I step back and take a look at my life--what is working, what is not, where more time needs to be spent, what I need to cut out, what to focus on with my girls--I always end up comparing it to my life as a young mama.
Not to romanticize that season...it had its long days, overwhelming hours, and all other kinds of things I try to forget. But my life was simpler then. And I find as years go by, I long for simplicity more and more.
Seems like I had more time to read, more time to clean, more time to cook. I know that makes no sense at all when you think about having three kids ages 4 and under. But I think I am recalling that time correctly.
There is something about being in this season of life where kids CAN manage their time and hygiene and belongings all by themselves...but often do not because, well, they are kids and are still stewing in the crockpot of all-things-growing-up-and-maturing. I am still managing my kids, but instead of doing everything for them I am walking behind them making sure they are doing what they can now do on their own.
And let's face it, I have a legal obligation to my state with our homeschooling. Gone are the days the girls can just play for hours while I putter around the house getting my chores done and sticking my nose in a good book. They actually still have several hours to play in a day, but it's not the same.
And you know what? It makes no sense that I feel like I have less time now and that things are more complicated. My girls have been trained to clean their bathroom, do laundry, load and unload the dishwasher, make many of their own meals. So why doesn't life here feel simpler?
Maybe it is just part of getting older. We have more responsibilities as the years go by--to our kids, to our parents, our church family, our community. We get to what we figure is close to our mid-life, and we take stock of what we had wanted to accomplish by now, and the huge task before us of preparing for our aging future and a future with adult children.
So it really is not so much that I am not enjoying this season. I turn 40 next month and am thinking 40 looks pretty good! I have 16 wonderful years with Honey. We have four beautiful and spunky daughters, and every single season with them has had so much fun in it.
It's just time to pray and ask God where He needs me most this year and what He most wants me to accomplish this year. He is already leading me in one direction for my time next school year, and I am really excited about that! I cannot wait to see how else He directs our year.